Their eyes met and the surroundings melted into mist.For the length of a few seconds it felt incredible, incredibly so.Then, as always, life pulled them back into its big bountiful, fold. The music blaring from the speakers, the smoke from a hundred cigarettes, the loud clinking of glasses and mugs, all of it made their presence felt. Noone seemed to have noticed how that fleeting moment had touched two lives, possibly forever.He looked for her after, discreetly searching the crowd for one more glimpse. She tried to stay longer, coaxing her friends for one more drink. It didnt work.
Even when he stumbled out of that neon lit universe of a disco, his mind was filled with that single image of the night. That haunting face, that smile below eyes crying for help, that little fringe she was trying to tuck when they had frozen in time. They say such is destiny, it gives you glimpses of something you have dreamed about without knowing what it was all your life. She, Hari decided, was his.
She had been silent all the way home. She laughed at the cues from others, mimicking the rest of the gang. No one noticed that she was replying in mono syllables. As she combed her hair before bed, she saw his face in the mirror: not the usual hunk women faint over, but there was an intensity to his eyes, a confidence in his face as of one who knew where he was heading in life. She slept fitfully, twisting and turning, held in that gaze that didnt break even after all these hours. He, Maya decided, was trouble.
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PS: The beginning of my work of fiction which has died and resurrected over and over again. Am hoping this time making it public will make me being it to more than a few chapters. To what end ?? I have no clue
Attempts at Prose and Poetry... 
Intrigued. Very very intrigued.
You have a sort of skill, in articulation, Tito, that I have found, time and time again, as one that does not hold back anything, and yet is not in-your-face! A balance I’ve never been able to find (and most likely will never). I love that about the way you write. It has subtle shades of intensity. It appeals, it calls one in.
Will follow this one 🙂
*Red ink*
second line. do proof read it again 🙂
Am I right in wondering it this line should be “She, Hari decided was his.” (Dont know how to highlight it in italics or bold… the last word, instead of “hers”, is it “his” ???? Else it does not seem to gel. 🙂
Waiting for the next part.
Ollaka, there is no skill. You are the English teacher. Me, I just flirt with the language and try to get away with it. 😀
If I am getting inked for punctuation 😛 I am not correcting anything. Will hire you as my proof reader when I publish anything ever. 😀
She , Hari decided, was his (destiny). yup. correcting that immediately
Sure, hire me. We’ll negotiate the terms then 😛
You know how it is about English teachers. Even the “olakka” has overtones of something or the other. Will ponder over it, and let you know 😛 😛 Occupational hazard that you carry everywhere English is spoken, written or thought 😀 😀
And not punctuation, that said line. Something else 😛
I’m not working till I’m paid 😛 😛
I found the mistake 😀 😀 😀 So I am willing to offer my proof-reading services, at negotiable charges (take that Usha Pisharody!! Lol ) Oopz, I was here to comment on the write and here I am enjoying the repartee in the comments section. Spare me.
I’ve always loved reading you!! It has been a long time since I read something, and the first time at prose. I got to say the start is brilliant. Leaves one wishful, hoping there had been more. The curiosity is definitely awakened. So please please feed me to the full 🙂
My two faithful readers from Orkut are back 😀 😀 😀
This feels good. Lets bring that zest back.. 😀
The story will unfold in its own time. I felt it was a little too short too, but didnt want to mess with it right at the beginning.
So, two proofreaders. Will you both take payments in share of royalties ???
And Tito, hasn’t Sash told you yet? 😀 Or perhaps you found out… ?? 😀 No, just checked , not yet 😀
Ok, out with it. Or PM me on FB.. I hate this nail biting suspense.
All yours Sashu 🙂 No competition from me, and in fact, I can get you more shots at this venture 🙂 Perhaps give you some correction as well. Outsourcing seems to be a good idea 😀
Very beautifully written… Waiting for more 🙂
Thanks again Neha. Glad you liked it.
Though I cant commit on when the next one is coming
I just read chapter 2 came back here to know more
don’t you dare stop writing or i will sue you for sure
he he bad rhymying but really good write up Tito
😀
Am not stopping till the story is done, not with such threats.. 😛
But no comment on when the next chapter will come through