Category Archives: poetry
The day has finally arrived. The rebel in me has waved a white flag and is now on display. The mother has finally won.
So here it is. All that fighting, all those posts amount to Zilch, Nada, Zero. So if I never blog about this ever again let this be my final statement. I am not against marriage. I am however completely against the system of arranged marriage in its current shape and form. This blog is going to start off what is going to be the search of a lifetime (for me ) for that partner for life. I am simply going to write who I am and then hear out your comments.
History first, born as the eldest into an Orthodox Christian Keralite family, you would think I was a goner from day one. Luckily for me, I was born in Libya, to parents who were educated and in a scenario where my mother used to earn more than my father. That changes the way one sees the roles of the male in the family. He need not be the breadwinner, and all life decisions are made by both the husband and the wife. There are fights but they don’t mean the end. So born outside India, in a community that was predominantly Indian, the state wise break up was too small for any group to be independent, which made me fluent in Hindi.( I speak it without the mallu accent.) The school I went to didn’t differentiate between the genders because they couldn’t afford to, I grew up considering all women my equal. Moving back to India was the shocker. Schools seated boys and girls separately. A girl cried because I touched her shoulder. I almost was weeded out because I talked English than Malayalam. I adapted fast. Girl became the enemy, then the object of boyhood crushes and it wasnt until 11th and 12th that the walls started breaking down. Some of my best friends are from that era, the wonder years, when as a unit the class gelled. I have seen friends falling in love, falling out of love and some staying in love still (married and with a beautiful daughter).
Then came the engineering years, 4 Years in a village in Tamil Nadu where Keralite boys are at the top of the pecking order, where the women dont talk to you because the college doesnt allow it, where women 2 years older than you come to teach you and you have the biggest ever crush on them, where we bent the rules, broke them and some times just sometimes got them abolished.
Then came Bangalore, the city that stole my heart. 3 Years that went by in a warm fuzz. I love that city and its people, for Bangalore belongs to everyone that is in it, it doesnt differentiate between the states, it recognizes talent and it gives you opportunity. I plan to settle down in Bangalore and spend the rest of my life in whats left of its gardens. Plus most of my friends live there and I would like to be in Bangalore closer to them than in Kerala closer to relatives that are always trying to find out whats wrong with you.
Then came Hyderabad, a job with a software major that went kaput due to millions stolen by its owner and chairman. The city failed to impress me but again the friends were many. This city taught me what love really is, how it doesnt see caste , creed, color or any other division you name. It also showed me how friendships are often wasted, how someone you trust can have priorities one doesnt understand. This was the city also where I was supposed to be when I had that fateful accident on Valentines day in Cochin. The accident almost took my life. I was in a coma for 3 days, then at home with broken bones for 3 months.
Now fully recovered physically, the only thing that remains is a voice that is straight out of a bad movie. I have only one of 2 vocal chords left in my throat and it cant be fixed. Apparently there is some experimental surgery going on in the US but by the time it can be replicated, I might be dead.
Oh before we forget the important stuff, I smoke but I am cutting down, I drink but I am not an alcoholic and I love to party. I dont dance (2 left feet is an understatement) and I am not a person who loses his temper (used to but now I just go silent). My cousins are close to me and we speak more in Hindi than in Malayalam. I have had previous relationships (Yes , more than one. I am a sucker for love). I have had my heart broken and I have broken a few hearts. I am looking for a woman who will be a friend, a lover and a confidante. A person who will be with me in the good times and the bad. A person who wants to travel the world like I do, who wants to see the arctic lights and also see the jungles of africa. A woman who doesnt have any qualms in staking her claim on me but gives me the freedom to be who I am. Someone who is protective but not possessive. Someone who will love my family and hopefully try to be the daughter they never had, the sister my brother would have loved. Oh and love animals of all sorts because if I could, I would adopt all the strays in the world (am planning to settle for a dog for now)
There you go. That is it. The matrimonial ad that is never written, the truth as it is never stated.
The fairer sex is an enigma..
I dont understand even the one i call maa..
In their grace and beauty hides something..
of which i fathom nothing..
Speaking the same language as we do..
Their meaning i still cant undo..
Over and over to know i tried in vain..
how their power over men drives us insane..
We love them for every little thing..
For just looking at them makes our heart sing..
We secretly like them making us wait..
We like to watch their lovely gait..
One they say is made for me..
Wonder where n who is she..
The search is on and forever it will be..
Till i find the angel meant for me..
I posted this one on orkut a long long time ago and got quite surprising responses.. including a “To men” right back at me..
One without the other always damned..
Physical and mental differences i ponder..
Oh, the almighty did play a wicked plot..
Dividing us amongst our own lot..
A knight stands strong fighting his side..
On the other a lady scorned and weapons drawn wide..
Both in eternal battle engaged for now..
What attacks and counterattacks, and oh how?
One without the other incomplete..
Each in the other their match do meet..
From time immemorial to future unending..
One to the other is bound , body and mind..
Try as we may to escape it..
The thing is thats the only way we fit..
Two pieces of a puzzle simple..
Two faces of a magical coin till we wrinkle..
Fight it or embrace it choose u can..
But lie not to ur heart and to ur own clan..
For even in the deepest of hatred..
A little care and love has somewhere bred..
I have my reasons to choose my path too..
But logic gives me reasons few..
To ensue in a fight ages old yet new..
As always i stand by as i have no clue…
The Big Fat Indian Wedding doesnt work for me
I am not marriage material and hope never will be
For a truly haappy couple I am yet to see
And singlehood is my sanity, my will always freee
Its not that marriage is a terrible fumble
I just dont see the point to the whole gamble
Why have a bachelor bash before a wedding night
When every day can be a party in its own right
Kids I love and want my own some day
But marriage isnt necessary, I truth I say
Adoption is an option too that I like
Give a home to a crazy little tyke
The best alternative is still a dog, my own
A friend for life, who lick my worries till they are gone
Luckily the Dad seems to not care
The mother for now is fighting fair
But when the tears come and come they will
I might just swallow that bitter little pill
God save the Lady that fate throws my way
Every single second, every minute of the day.
Now dont get excited you all, nothing is happening. But the mother has started making more noises than usual, as she always does before a trip back to India. My trump cards are running out, and there was nothing else I felt like writing about so typeed this 😛
Attention spans successively lower..
Each class goes by a litlle slower..
Maths , english and then some more..
As i wait and watch the open door..
Last benchers have their special place..
Static pixels in classroom space..
We hold the rest in awed silence..
When we decide to use our pens..
Teachers gave up a long time back..
Even the principal gives us slack..
Unheralded kings they were, they are..
Anybody who earns a back bench star..
Heres a secret i let u know..
We are smarter than we show..
The last bench isnt all that bad..
The view is better and more fun to be had..
Mischief hatched by us adds zest..
Bringing a smile to all the rest..
Ok, so we arent the teachers pet..
Well life isnt about that i’ll bet..
We stick through thick and thin together..
We are brothers, birds of a feather..
Its never boring at the back..
A million plans made by a wolf pack..
I am just another back bencher blowing my horn..
I like to be one, evening night and morn..
When we do make it big in the world..
I dont want to be called a nerd..
Teachers gave up on us a long time back..
Even the principal give us some slack..
As we sit at the back and happily see..
Everything is where its meant to be..
Sunshine in the month of may..
Another one of many such days..
But somehow i feel out of place..
But today seems a little too long..
There are things to do and places to go..
But my heart somehow says No..
And yet i have an inexplicable frown..
If everything is as is meant to be..
Why is something bothering me?
Answers for questions unasked..
Words to dreams unseen..
As my thoughts spill beyond time..
Is silence an actual crime ???
Life has its little mysteries..
Long storylines and terrific climaxes..
We carefully trudge the boundaries..
Dancing to a tune and some remixes..
And over the coffee breaks i wonder..
Am i in a romantic comedy or a tragedy..
Or is this the prelude to a classic blockbuser..
My puzzling thoughts only time will remedy..
If its a romance i silently ponder..
Its almost interval and the heroine is missing..
Can it be a thriller i wonder?
Or is its just another one without meaning?
What if its a gangster movie i question..
But at 24 the gangs wont take me i guess..
And i am not made for high tension..
So that option too is amiss..
So what can it be i , what can it be?
No lady , no guns and no tension..
A comedy then it has to be..
No sense , no storyline and no direction..
So Shail has finally done something about that beautiful talent of hers. About time too. Am shamelessly plugging for her and will be doing quite a few times here forward (Get used to it).
Go but the book at
Its poetry and the good kind. Look at her blog if you dont believe me.
Blogging is a funny thing to do
A way out of routine and a nice break too
Total freedom to say the things you want
To rant, to speak out and to touch a million minds
The start is the easy part
You register, login and begin to talk real smart
Your thoughts pour out loud and clear
Matters of the heart, issues that are dear
The flow ebbs as time goes by
The million minds dont say hi
The posts waver and come to a halt
You start doubting if its your fault.
Getting attention isnt that easy
And the blogosphere isnt for the lazy
Churn out content night after day
And comment to others , have your say
The views will come, I promise you this
If your blog doesnt lose its fizz
So what are you waiting for, go write another post
Let out that thought, that poem, that crazy ghost.
There are so many stories of the dead..
Oh haunted houses, wizards and how people bled..
Some names even are not mentioned out loud..
Like Voldermont, every Harry has a dark looming cloud..
My girlfriend of old had her pet scare..
A mouse so tiny, glimpses were rare..
But i hate that little ball of fur..
It has often kept me from her..
She would see it when it wasnt there..
and cling on me while i smelled her hair..
But one day the mouse made me mad..
It stole from me the kiss i never had..
We were so close our noses we touching..
When with a squeak, havoc it did fling..
She forgot the kiss and everything else..
The moment passed and never came thence..
I wonder what could kill that rat..
Hit it on the head with a brick bat..
But all the plans i hatched fell flat..
When she adopted the creature and called me fat..
Now i sit and wonder what went wrong..
How did the tune change to my song..
All eggs in one one basket crushed to the ground..
I ponder when love will visit me next time round..