Roaming around a mall in suburban Perth gets boring after a while. First because the mall is pretty small and theres only so much to see. So after the routine groceries, dessert and general ooruchuttal including saying hello to Richie the Cockatoo and aawing over the puppies at the pet store one finds oneself with not much to do on a weekend.
For that is life my dearies, you know you are thirty when your weekends get boring. I have always been considered a little off the norm according to trusted sources, but then that is my norm. Which brings me to Stephen King. Bought book 1 and 2 of the Dark Tower series after a futile search for the Game of Throne books at a second hand store.
The first book, The Gunslinger, started of with King discussing about arrogance and life at 19. How we kind of stop aging from then. How age creeps on us without us knowing it. How a few grays appear in the Jet black, how lines suddenly appear around eyes that still havent lost their shine, how the pot belly slowly grows to a size that once was never even imagined, how suddenly all your friends are married and having kids (ok that last one is just me).
Anyways thats my theme for the time being. Being 19 and Arrogant for as long as I can. Life in Perth is too boring otherwise.
One without the other always damned..
Physical and mental differences i ponder..
Oh, the almighty did play a wicked plot..
Dividing us amongst our own lot..
A knight stands strong fighting his side..
On the other a lady scorned and weapons drawn wide..
Both in eternal battle engaged for now..
What attacks and counterattacks, and oh how?
One without the other incomplete..
Each in the other their match do meet..
From time immemorial to future unending..
One to the other is bound , body and mind..
Try as we may to escape it..
The thing is thats the only way we fit..
Two pieces of a puzzle simple..
Two faces of a magical coin till we wrinkle..
Fight it or embrace it choose u can..
But lie not to ur heart and to ur own clan..
For even in the deepest of hatred..
A little care and love has somewhere bred..
I have my reasons to choose my path too..
But logic gives me reasons few..
To ensue in a fight ages old yet new..
As always i stand by as i have no clue…
There are so many half told tales, so many unwritten poems, so many unsaid words, so many unseen places.. Some times life seems too short to get it all done.. But then sometimes it seems so damn long too. I guess its human nature to crib at things. But in the end, more often than not the memories that are left are awesome.
Luckily for me, my memory sucks. So I rely on half heard stories from friends about years that seem a blur to me. So my memories now are an amalgam of stories from different people, often with added masala and I love every bit of it. I think this blog was supposed to be a solution to that. Each post was created in the beginning to remind me of stuff. Most of the poems here hold a deeper meaning. Most of the posts in here are inspired by life. Most of the people in these posts were once my friends, some still are.
166 words into the post and I have no clue what I was trying to write about. Which was something I used to do too. My scribbling were once famous. Must start writing them again. Sorry readers if you feel let down, but do remember this blog holds no promises. So, if you got this far and are still reading, go read some of the other rambles and feel free to vent. Comments are free
Their eyes met and the surroundings melted into mist.For the length of a few seconds it felt incredible, incredibly so.Then, as always, life pulled them back into its big bountiful, fold. The music blaring from the speakers, the smoke from a hundred cigarettes, the loud clinking of glasses and mugs, all of it made their presence felt. Noone seemed to have noticed how that fleeting moment had touched two lives, possibly forever.He looked for her after, discreetly searching the crowd for one more glimpse. She tried to stay longer, coaxing her friends for one more drink. It didnt work.
Even when he stumbled out of that neon lit universe of a disco, his mind was filled with that single image of the night. That haunting face, that smile below eyes crying for help, that little fringe she was trying to tuck when they had frozen in time. They say such is destiny, it gives you glimpses of something you have dreamed about without knowing what it was all your life. She, Hari decided, was his.
She had been silent all the way home. She laughed at the cues from others, mimicking the rest of the gang. No one noticed that she was replying in mono syllables. As she combed her hair before bed, she saw his face in the mirror: not the usual hunk women faint over, but there was an intensity to his eyes, a confidence in his face as of one who knew where he was heading in life. She slept fitfully, twisting and turning, held in that gaze that didnt break even after all these hours. He, Maya decided, was trouble.
PS: The beginning of my work of fiction which has died and resurrected over and over again. Am hoping this time making it public will make me being it to more than a few chapters. To what end ?? I have no clue
Marriage is a funny affair
A promise to have and to hold
An unsaid vow to care
A simple lie so beautifully told.
I would rather stay alone
Fight the forces that always nag
Get a dog like Luci, one my own
In solitude, in peace, I will lag
I dont need company when I am old
I dont want marriage to make the bloodline flow
I am not greedy for pots of gold
I like this life, a vision in my own kind of glow
My parents wont have to fight the daughter in law
My brothers wife wont have to compete for her share
I will bear this curse, this life of flaw
And the Dog will give me all the love and care
My old age wont be a pain of lonely nights
I wont miss someone I never had
I will travel the world on last minute flights
Be free, be funny, be stark raving mad.
Of the dreams and hopes that I strongly hold
The twists of time seem not to care
As each hand in submission I slowly fold
This game, this life, is definitely not fair
Are you married they ask in mock
I am happily unmarried I tell them all
And as they gape in plain old shock
I walk away, happy until life’s next fall
Ok Enough ! I have read, heard and seen enough laments about how women loose everything after a marriage. The men are often portrayed as evil, conniving sons of b*****s who have nothing better to do but make a woman’s life hell. This here is our side of the story, the average Indian guy.
Lets see, the average Indian boy, is born into a middle class family by some wicked twist of fate and biology. Our parents are all evil and dont abort as often as is propagated (abortions are usually due to medical issues not after screening the gender).
We are usually sent to school where we get our asses kicked by girls in terms of everything academic, and by bigger, meaner boys in terms of everything sporty. We are often nicknamed here, and that carries on well thru adulthood until the grave (Note: The name need not be one we like, but we get used to it). Our parents usually get really pissed when we get beaten by anyone, but more often than not its a girl, hence the phrase ” You got beaten by a girl.” This usually is the only phase where we hate girls. And we make it pretty evident by pulling your hair, fighting with you, throwing things at you etc. But by the time we grow out of those ugly shorts, we have learned to restrain ourselves.
Then we go to college, that most magical of lands. We often get our first heartbreak here. Women who rule our hearts and turn our minds into mulch, don’t seem to be aware of our existence. We learn to drink and smoke here. Mostly from conniving friends and seniors who just want some fun (it is kind of a tradition, one we learn to appreciate). Here some of us get lucky and find a girl who seems to think being with someone like us is not such a bad deal. Most of these end after college, as the women chase bigger dreams. Before you say that is because we dont compromise: We are willing to compromise, if we have any clue where we were headed. Our futures are pretty hazy at this juncture and that hard found job cant be thrown away. All the women here are well remembered, most wistfully, some lovingly and we sometimes name our girls with one of the names from this past.
We are raised, trained, to be the bread earners. We are ashamed when a woman has to pay, because we learn its not the chivalrous thing to do, not because we think woman shouldnt. Most of us know how to cook. We have lived away from family and have had to enter the kitchen more than once. Our menu is not limited to toast, eggs and maggi. We just dont like admitting it. We save it for a surprise for a woman we woo. A home cooked candle light dinner is something we consider the best of all dates. Most of us dont ever have one.
Then comes career. We have no issues with a female boss or a colleague. We often appreciate the fact that a woman adds a different side to our arguments. We also love it that we get to see a person of the other sex around. Yes, we like both the intellect and the presence of a body that smells like sunshine. We are awkward in our interactions, because mainly we just dont know where to draw a line. We dont know what is ok and what is not. And we dont want to lose our jobs on some insane charges of sexual harrasment. We just go along, trodding the well worn boring path, saving money for a car, a flat, and many other invisible somethings in the future. Women who we come across are completely appreciated for that added dash of color they bring to our lives.
Then comes marriage. Ok Lets be honest. We are not the best of the lot. The only criteria we are judged on is usually some invisible reputation that our forefathers left behind and the package we earn. We also face the unrelenting aunts and nosy uncles who make us feel impotent because we arent married. We are constantly questioned about our choices, our dressing sense, our next salary hike/job change, our plans for the future, our drinking habits, our account balances. Any woman who through some stroke of fortune considered us good enough to be friends with disappear here. After a lot of third degree questioning, they find someone they think is a perfect match. By now, most men have no clue what they want. So much psychological wear and tear plus emotional blackmail happens that we leave everything in the hands of our makers. Our parents cant be wrong can they?
Finally a girl, luckily or unluckily gets approved. Please note, we understand the rejections. We also have been rejected. Then comes the whole band, baaja, baaraat. The girl gets to dress up as an angel while we get a new suit. We dont complain. We consider ourselves lucky that a woman gets decked out with so much effort for us. That probably is the only thing we notice. All other times we are just smiling our jaws off and trying to figure out how much the wedding has cost us. We hold big bachelor bashes coz married life is supposed to make us responsible. Because that might be the only night we can black out and sleep on a friends couch with no worries about whos at home.
Yes, we worry. We arent experienced in dealing with women. The ones we have dealt with seemed pretty capable of taking care of themselves. We would love it if you also had a job. We dont mind doing the dishes. We will happily do grocery shopping. The only problem is we have no clue how to. Our dishes were done by a maid that often went absent for days. We shopped only on the nights we cooked and often forgot something and invented new combinations in the kitchen. We do clean our houses, we just dont do it as often as women do. If you also dont mind a mess, let it be. If you need a patient listener when you come home from work, let us know. We dont sense that something is wrong as well as women do, mostly because we dont knw the body language. When you cry, it breaks our hearts but we often dont know what to do.
We arent color blind but we dont know what color matches you. You always look beautiful to us. We hate shopping for exactly this reason. We dont know curtains, we never needed them (we often covered our windows with bedsheets). We seriously dont notice when you put on a kilo here and there. We are often busy trying to hide the fact that our pants dont fit anymore. We dont mind you having friends who are men. We are often a lil jealous coz we arent that cool. We hope against hope that you wont mind us drinking. That male bonding to us is like shopping to women. Stress release. We would love it if you can share a drink. We just havent seen many women drink. So dont be surprised if we gape when you say yes to a shot.
In finality. Men dont take you for granted. We do seek your approval but we dont know how to express it. We love you in a million ways but just dont know how to show it. We often dont notice new earrings or jewellery coz we were never taught to look. We are also just learning, bear with us. We really do appreciate that you put up with the crap that our parents sometimes dish out. We get angry often for no fault of yours. Its ourselves we are cursing internally.
PS: If i missed anything thats coz I am a total idiot. Also, please note that i have wonderful female friends who drink with me, dance with me and are just the same to me as men are. But the above situation is the more common Indian man, before I saw Bangalore. If the above doesnt meet your stereotype that is because, we are not noticed. If you differ to something, leave a comment. If you think I need to explain myself somewhere, I wont.
Update: I just realize this is going to get a lot more attention than earlier expected. But please think about it before reacting. Its true if you are willing to open your eyes to it. ” According to your faith, let it be to You” ( I am an atheist but cant help quoting something so apt here)
The rock and roll scene gets to all..
While some succeed, most do fall..
Across the globe, they pop out from nowhere..
Telling the world how they dont care..
The fans go crazy at these guys..
Yuppy kids with jeans hanging off thighs..
A tattoo and a guitar is all you need..
That and lyrics no one can read..
Its a wacky crazy life I hear..
There’s wine, women and wealth to spare..
Those kisses that they throw in the air..
Make hearts flutter of many a maiden fair..
But all good things come to an end..
Most of them end up lonely around the bend..
In the solitude of their golden years they lie..
Often in pain wishing to just die..
I got the tattoo but no guitar..
I dont have a voice or the funky car..
Guess the rebel in me must be content..
That I can afford the next months rent..
A glimpse is sometimes all you get
of a dream, an angel, a moment just before sunset
This is it you say to yourself
and then it passes, its gone, it never was
The search begins from then on forward
For something that defines you but cant be expressed
Such is life, This is It
This is what a 55 er is; information from Usha’s post
A literary work will be considered 55 Fiction if it has:
- Fifty-five words or less (A non-negotiable rule)
- A setting,
- One or more characters,
- Some conflict, and
- A resolution. (Not limited to moral of the story)
I dont have a heading for this one and am not sure if this one does justice to all the above rules. But if it doesnt, then maybe i can write one again. 😀
Everyone who has ended up here has for sure one time or other pondered the meaning of that simple four letter word to which there is no real definition. Everyone has their own ideas or beliefs attached to it, making it all the more bearable.
I have my fleeting ideologies too, more often than not residing closely to karma and dharma, i have no belief in athma though which makes my beliefs not have the weight they normally carry. Anyways, i have heard some interesting ideas and wanted to letit out into the world, hear similar ideas or contrasting emotions..
1. The Higher Purpose Principle: We are born to serve a higher purpose. The days we are alive, merely a web of interlinked events, aimed at delivering one final act, one powerhouse performance, one stupendous event that we might never realize even happened.
2. The Evolution Principle: This I found hilarious but maybe more true than any of us are ready to accept, we are just another of natures experiments, a part of the evolutionary chain, that will be discarded sometime in the future without a second thought as a better, faster, smarter species takes over.
3. The Nonsense Theory: The whole idea being that it makes no sense and thinking about it makes no sense, discussing this makes no sense either and writing about it is also just to prove that it is total nonsense.
4. The Me theory: This one is awesome and something Barney Stinson should adopt. The core idea being that everything that happened was leading to me being born and everything thats happening after is for my personal entertainment or education (the tough parts as Calvin’s dad puts it ” Builds Charachter”)
5. Karma / Dharma: The cause and effect principle underlying Hinduism, Budhism and Jainism, it has variants in all religions. Simply that everything that we do has an after effect, which means I am headed to a terrifying end that is getting closer. Cant wait.
6. All this made me make up The Tito Principle, which sees its very first expression here and now: Any discussion or thoughts on this topic is moot. Noone has a clue and the conversational arguments are getting stale.
PS: In case you haven’t noticed, I avoided the word Life in the text above. But always wanted to start and end a post with the same word and so lets see who can life define ?
Have decided to start jotting down the random things that suddenly enlighten me to some very big truths. So, here goes no. 1 on the list
1. Most men do not understand a word when two women are chatting (we prefer it that way), until and unless they decide to use a code trying to make it difficult to understand (often making us perk our ears up and take notice, often to find the so called code so easy to break that it makes us feel secure to go back to day dreaming).
Special thanks here to Bella.