Life has its own way of keeping the wheel spinning.. My problem is there are too many cracks in the wheel and its a very jolty ride…
I am suddenly feeling similar to how i was about 3 years ago.. There is no real reason to it but i need no reasons to feel bad about my life.
I got a job, i am with my family, i am saving money finally but somehow the satisfaction all this is supposed to bring is absent.
I am expected to accept my age and be married in a years time, i am desperately fighting that but somehow there is no will in me anymore.. I am supposed to be hunting for jobs day and night so that the abovesaid can be easily arranged despite my obvious lackings and i am trying hard to push that off for as long as i can.
Generation gap is something my dad tried to remove since when me and my brother were kids, yet somehow there exists a wall between us, unsurmountable, un defined , utter blackness.
My brother is more communicative to me than anyone else in the family and i cant talk to him also. HOw does one end up not trusting the family that u knw from the first breath u take ?
I am demented and need psychiatric help. Explains my apparent attraction to women who have an inclination to psycology and/or human nature in general.