Some things in life just dont change.. For example my mothers hopes that she’ll fidn the girl i have hiding from her all this while(poor thing doesnt know its she whos hiding from both of us).. My brother who thinks i have all the answers to the questions he has about life.. My dad who still believes that i am underperforming just because he hasnt driven me enough..
On my side , i know for sure that nobody understands what they want, nobody i know what they want from life, most of the couples stick together because they are comfortable in the sanctity of togetherness, they dont want to even think if it actually the made for each other “Soul mates” kind of stuff fairytales are made of.. i am even more sure that my life has no meaning , no direction and no particular reason for existence.. i am one of those people who were destined to be born , enjoy life, think on everything and act on nothing..
Someone i once met told me that i am the kind of guy who wants nothing from life but exist in a way rather impossible-‘ i wanted things that were not mine to take, i gave things that werent expected and i hoped people to understand what was never said , and i hated silences. I lived in an utopian world which could be seen only through my personal cracked pink tinted glasses.. ‘ Though i understood and didnt both at the same time, i liked it.. It sounded crazy, definetely different , unbelievably stupid and secretly hopeful- just like i used to feel..
They say u should burn old bridges , forget old memories and all that.. I have a bad memory so it should be easy but it isnt.. Where people see picture perfect moments i see hazy shadows.. Seriously, my childhood in libya is nothing mroe than a few shreds of a broken mirror.. not one memory complete, not one thought fully processed..
I am such a self centred guy 😉 i almost forgot to tell you all what it was i wanted to say.. Forgetting the past wont rid of the ghosts of it.. burning bridges will not stop people from crossing the river.. Building walls around you to keep people out will leave you pretty lonely no matter how much you kid yourself that u are perfectly fine in ur own company.. And cracked pink tinted glasses are not good for your health ;D