Growing old is mandatory..

Before Sunrise is a nice movie.. not gr8, not the best of the best but nice..

A thought in the movie got me started on this particular write.. I am not actually all that grown up.. Ya , i am now officially 24 and an MBA holder.. but that is all secondary..  

The primary thing is that i dont feel it.. i still laugh at jokes i laughed at when i was 14, i still like pretty much the same things (football, books and movies) .. i still look at the world through pink tinted glasses.. i have done things to try and fit into the best way i wanted my future self to be, i still do it.. (ok blogging isnt one of those things..)

but i realize now that its all futile… i knew marks and report cards didnt matter a long time back.. i thought an education did but as i grew older all the really famous were mostly college drop outs or seriously retarded.. i have seen people sweet talk their way out of trouble and into positions of power.. i have seen unwarrented gifts given to undeserving people.. and i am not surprised.. These things happen.. Its happened since time immemorial.. a word of advice to all those who lose sleep over exams , it isnt worth it.. ya , the first ranked guy might land a lucrative offer in the short term.. but money isnt all thats there to it.. ( u could always marry a rich better half and get it all for free, wink wink)..

Fame isnt what i am after either, i prefer a invisible existence actually.. i like the idea to be able to walk out your door and do anything u like without worrying about who might see u and splash u all over the news..

I am selfish, wont disagree to that, deep down inside everybody is.. (Ya u can not agree and call me all sorts of names , it doesnt change a thing)..

The only problem is i have no direction now.. after 10th it was maths and computers coz i sucked at biology.. then the computer science had me hooked enough to take up engineering at the end of which i decided i didnt want to spend a life typing random code into a screen( no hard feelings , dear programmers.. i just cant do it, u can)

So MBA was the next best option.. Now i have finished that too.. Suddenly i have a job( ironically in a software firm).. and i have till june to join.. All this free time and financial restrictions added with the hot weather has set my mind to think about a lot of things, but basically about me(told ya am a selfish guy).. And i realise my life is indeed the best it can be under given circumstances, but theres really no feeling of achievement, no sense of euphoria..  The only thought is “how does a person ever decide on what he wants to do?. how does one find out this is for me?”.. How does one get that dream jbo , when i dont even knw what to dream about?

So yes , i have no direction..

PS: i was musing abt 19 year olds who lacked direction.. well, growing older is not growing up 🙂


About TitoV

The author of this blog doesnt look the part of the kind of guy who would generate the stuff in the posts. Well, looks can be deceptive.

Posted on April 10, 2007, in Life, thoughts. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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